Blissful Pain

After a long time I didn't wake up all blissful and happy thinking about you,
Not with a smile nor giggles to come with the thought of you,
Rather saddness and some tears.
After a long time I woke up hurt, in pain, with a load of anxiety at the pit of my stomach to go along with it.
I see the world differently today, 
I see the world through watery eyes, wanting to be loved, needing to be loved.
Today I don't joyfully walk down the street and adore the rest of the 'twos' with faith in us,
Today I long to be one of those couples walking down the street blissfully, hand-in-hand, with such huge smiles,
Smiles that look like their faces might crumble to pieces.
Instead I want to crumble to pieces,
I want to go back in bed under the covers and wake up to a new today, wake up writing something new.
And all through this, all through the pain and somewhat agony, I don't only want us, but I need you,
I need a hug in the safest place in the world, your arms. 
And I know, I know that things will be okay because thats how life is, 
And I know because its us, we get through it all, we get past all the pain and anger.
But until that morning that I wake up happily thinking of us, I'm in pain, and I'm hurting.
Though no matter what I'm feeling, I love you, I still love you.