It's a rainy and gloomy day; undoubtedly more people than not are in their "thinking" and pensive mood. Old memories arise, old songs and old movies arise, and immediately, old emotions come rushing. But that's all old; it's in the past. The only thing that brings the past to the present is our thoughts-- those things don't exist anymore but are merely present in our thoughts. What's so good about the past, we ask? Well, in fact, it’s a luxury we have. When we flip through old memories we get to rewrite the past; we are allowed to remember the past for what we want to remember it. We can think back on a relationship and remember it for its sweetness and love; our memories can completely eradicate the yelling and unhappiness we once felt and we can remember the relationship for what we wanted it to be. Sometimes its not such a gift—sometimes our minds only remember the bad, the unhappiness we felt, the anxiety tied to that relationship and it hurts. Our thoughts can bring life to the pain we once felt, when we would actually prefer that stay in the past. Questions come pouring, we starting missing the good, and regretting the old. Sometimes I wonder how it is that, that other person and I, who shared the same two-month experience, could remember it so differently-- how our thoughts can create such distinct memories for us and carry us through life having rewritten the past to our preference. At the end of the day, those are the memories we hold on to, and that’s the reality we make of it. At the end of the rainy day, there’s a rainbow that comes out with the luxury of forgetting the past, as we delve into re-runs of our favorite old-school episodes.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Song of the Day:
[[[Between the Raindrops - Lifehouse]]]
It's a rainy and gloomy day; undoubtedly more people than not are in their "thinking" and pensive mood. Old memories arise, old songs and old movies arise, and immediately, old emotions come rushing. But that's all old; it's in the past. The only thing that brings the past to the present is our thoughts-- those things don't exist anymore but are merely present in our thoughts. What's so good about the past, we ask? Well, in fact, it’s a luxury we have. When we flip through old memories we get to rewrite the past; we are allowed to remember the past for what we want to remember it. We can think back on a relationship and remember it for its sweetness and love; our memories can completely eradicate the yelling and unhappiness we once felt and we can remember the relationship for what we wanted it to be. Sometimes its not such a gift—sometimes our minds only remember the bad, the unhappiness we felt, the anxiety tied to that relationship and it hurts. Our thoughts can bring life to the pain we once felt, when we would actually prefer that stay in the past. Questions come pouring, we starting missing the good, and regretting the old. Sometimes I wonder how it is that, that other person and I, who shared the same two-month experience, could remember it so differently-- how our thoughts can create such distinct memories for us and carry us through life having rewritten the past to our preference. At the end of the day, those are the memories we hold on to, and that’s the reality we make of it. At the end of the rainy day, there’s a rainbow that comes out with the luxury of forgetting the past, as we delve into re-runs of our favorite old-school episodes.
It's a rainy and gloomy day; undoubtedly more people than not are in their "thinking" and pensive mood. Old memories arise, old songs and old movies arise, and immediately, old emotions come rushing. But that's all old; it's in the past. The only thing that brings the past to the present is our thoughts-- those things don't exist anymore but are merely present in our thoughts. What's so good about the past, we ask? Well, in fact, it’s a luxury we have. When we flip through old memories we get to rewrite the past; we are allowed to remember the past for what we want to remember it. We can think back on a relationship and remember it for its sweetness and love; our memories can completely eradicate the yelling and unhappiness we once felt and we can remember the relationship for what we wanted it to be. Sometimes its not such a gift—sometimes our minds only remember the bad, the unhappiness we felt, the anxiety tied to that relationship and it hurts. Our thoughts can bring life to the pain we once felt, when we would actually prefer that stay in the past. Questions come pouring, we starting missing the good, and regretting the old. Sometimes I wonder how it is that, that other person and I, who shared the same two-month experience, could remember it so differently-- how our thoughts can create such distinct memories for us and carry us through life having rewritten the past to our preference. At the end of the day, those are the memories we hold on to, and that’s the reality we make of it. At the end of the rainy day, there’s a rainbow that comes out with the luxury of forgetting the past, as we delve into re-runs of our favorite old-school episodes.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
GORGEOUS CHAOS
Song of the Day:
[Sorry - Buckcherry]
"Its impossible" said pride. "Its risky" said experience. "Its pointless" said reason. "Give it a try" whispered the heart."
"Power is being told you are not loved, & not being destroyed by it."
"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."
Drink of the Day:
Starbucks' Peppermint Mocha
Monday, November 5, 2012
Manic Monday
In the midst of a much needed, uplifting talk with a real and amazing friend, I was introduced to "Eat, Pray, Love" and inspired to read it. I haven't gotten the book yet, but in the mean time I've been reading random quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) and this one really resonates with me.
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...” Elizabeth Gilbet, Eat, Pray, Love
Happy Monday readers, don't let the madness of a Monday make you forget to set your intentions for your week!!!
Happy Monday readers, don't let the madness of a Monday make you forget to set your intentions for your week!!!
[[[ Manic Monday - The Bangles]]]
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Dear Hope,
Two years has lapsed since you told me that you didn't feel the same about me anymore. Two years since you told me you wanted to build boundaries between us. Two years feels like not a minute has gone by, it feels like time stopped but I kept living, and I never really heard those feelings.
Two years later, today, I woke up and realized that time actually does not stand still and that I've been living a life that didn't recognize your lack of love in hopes that it never wavered. I couldn't consume that boundaries meant halting a series of anticipated daily rituals-- morning texts, late night calls, slip-ins of sexual remarks, etc.. I couldn't understand playing such a different role in your life-- if at that point I even had one.
Today, I look at the canvas of our lives with clarity. I realize that we are now painting two completely different portraits in far distanced galleries with altered intentions. I realize the fight I've had in me all these years must be redirected in fighting for myself, in hope to find the love I have for myself. I have to fight the fear of not being in your life, the fear of moving on and starting over, the fear of never being capable of feeling emotions that run so deep for another soul again, and the fear of exploring myself outside of who I grew to be with you. I have to fight the desire to run back in your arms, the desire to cry on your shoulder, the need for you to bring my chaotic world to a calming peace, and the habit of dialing your number when any heart-pounding, heart-shattering, life-altering event occurs in my life.
Today, I grasp the concept of time and recognize each day will be a step towards the light. I have faith that I will get through this and on this journey I will learn all sorts of things about myself. I won't lie, in the back of my mind, at the bottom of my heart, I want to be able to let go in hopes that one day you will realize that you want to fight for me, and that having faith in our love is enough. But all that hope does is confuse my clarity, and then I remember, this new portrait is about hopes and faith and my dreams, only about me-- apart from you, apart from "us" and as scary as that sounds; it is okay, it will be okay.
Today, I know that I love you, and that I will always love you, but today I am letting go just a little more. I don't know how you feel today, but I have faith that whatever you may be feeling, and whatever I'm feeling is something that the both of us can handle. With faith. With belief. With dreams. With Hope.
Love always and forever,
Love today,
Faith
Two years has lapsed since you told me that you didn't feel the same about me anymore. Two years since you told me you wanted to build boundaries between us. Two years feels like not a minute has gone by, it feels like time stopped but I kept living, and I never really heard those feelings.
Two years later, today, I woke up and realized that time actually does not stand still and that I've been living a life that didn't recognize your lack of love in hopes that it never wavered. I couldn't consume that boundaries meant halting a series of anticipated daily rituals-- morning texts, late night calls, slip-ins of sexual remarks, etc.. I couldn't understand playing such a different role in your life-- if at that point I even had one.
Today, I look at the canvas of our lives with clarity. I realize that we are now painting two completely different portraits in far distanced galleries with altered intentions. I realize the fight I've had in me all these years must be redirected in fighting for myself, in hope to find the love I have for myself. I have to fight the fear of not being in your life, the fear of moving on and starting over, the fear of never being capable of feeling emotions that run so deep for another soul again, and the fear of exploring myself outside of who I grew to be with you. I have to fight the desire to run back in your arms, the desire to cry on your shoulder, the need for you to bring my chaotic world to a calming peace, and the habit of dialing your number when any heart-pounding, heart-shattering, life-altering event occurs in my life.
Today, I grasp the concept of time and recognize each day will be a step towards the light. I have faith that I will get through this and on this journey I will learn all sorts of things about myself. I won't lie, in the back of my mind, at the bottom of my heart, I want to be able to let go in hopes that one day you will realize that you want to fight for me, and that having faith in our love is enough. But all that hope does is confuse my clarity, and then I remember, this new portrait is about hopes and faith and my dreams, only about me-- apart from you, apart from "us" and as scary as that sounds; it is okay, it will be okay.
Today, I know that I love you, and that I will always love you, but today I am letting go just a little more. I don't know how you feel today, but I have faith that whatever you may be feeling, and whatever I'm feeling is something that the both of us can handle. With faith. With belief. With dreams. With Hope.
Love today,
Faith
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Happy November!!!
Hottie of the Day:
[[[Adam Levine]]]
Meal of the Day:
Song of the Day:
[more for the video than the song itself ;) ]
"When a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born- and this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."
"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter. They are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the same small cramped dark inside you for so long, but that someone finds a way to make sense of it all and you find a way to hold on."
....... is it really already No-Shave November again?!
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