Dear PsychoSlut,

I am aware this may barely affect you as you clearly have a cold heart and no emotions, but I guess I’m doing this more for me than for you—as if I’d actually do something for you at this point. 

I want you to know this: I knew the entire time. I knew from the very first time. I knew all six months. I knew every time you looked into my face and lied to me. I knew the night of my birthday. I knew every morning I had to wake up in the same house with you and look at your deceiving face. I knew the morning he woke up on our couch. I knew when all his friends told me. I knew when you put the pressure on my own friends to lie to me for you. And I now know that you did not actually intend on being discrete even though you were in denial. I know that watching me get hurt and be in pain made you feel powerful and like you won. You haven’t. Yes, you took something very special to me and ruined it. But you haven’t won. 

I have felt like you fucked me over this entire time, but I woke up with clarity and realized that in fact you have fucked yourself over so much harder. It saddens me to think you haven’t realized it. Your denial doesn’t make the reality of your actions any less deceitful.  The beauty in all of this is that I get closure, and I get to eventually come to peace with this. But the thing is, you will have to live with this forever. You will have to wake up and go to sleep to the thought that you lied to me day in and day out for months on end. You will know that I actually opened up to you and allowed myself to be vulnerable around you and you took advantage of my feelings and stabbed me with them. You will have to live with the fact that one of the only people in your life, who believed in you, took you in, and motivated you has been scarred by you. That’s what you’ll be remembered for. You’ll be remembered for your toxic aura, for the lies you told to make him believe I’m the crazy one, being the reason why I can’t trust, betrayal, burning an apartment down, and having absolutely no shame, consciousness, or guilt.

The only thing I hate about myself is that I feel such anger towards someone, because I’m not that type of person. I don’t like to feel hatred at my core for anyone, but you don’t deserve any more than that.  I get to wake up and go to bed each night knowing that I treated the entire situation with maturity and grace. I get to smile at the fact that I’m not the one that needs to worry about paying you back or teaching you a lesson because the karma you deserve is far greater than anything I would be capable of achieving. You’ll get what you deserve, I’m as sure of that, as I was that you were sleeping with him. 

xo,
The one you didn’t fool